Top 12 All-Time Best Mike Tyson Quotes

Like a traffic jam caused by people rubber-necking the carnage from a massive pileup, fight fans couldn’t get enough of the crazy circus that was the boxing career of the one-and-only Michael Gerard Tyson, who was born on this day back in 1966. The former “Baddest Man on the Planet,” Tyson might have also been the craziest athlete on the planet for much of his time at the top of the heavyweight division, and with his desire to fight Jake Paul at the age of 58, it appears he’s still crazy after all these years. Self-promotion and braggadocio are always paramount when it comes to notoriety in the prize ring and the truth is few ever talked the talk better than “Iron Mike.” From quotes on literary genius to eating opponent’s children, Tyson said it all. Welcome to our list of the best Mike Tyson quotes. Check it out:

12. “If they don’t have that extreme addict personality, you can never understand how a guy can blow 300 or 400 million dollars. If I have to live at the top of the world, I also have to live at the bottom of the ocean. I don’t know how to live in the middle of life.”

Having blown all of his money on more than one occasion, Tyson explains his strange outlook on finances and life in general. Guess you’d have to wasted hundreds of millions to understand!

11. “I wish one of you guys had children, so I could kick them in their fucking head or stomp on their testicles so you could feel my pain, because that’s the pain I have waking up every day.”

Mike having a particularly bad day at the office.

10. “I may like, fornicate more than other people, it’s just who I am. I sacrifice so much of my life, can I at least get laid, you know what I mean? I’ve been robbed of most of my money, can I at least get a blow job?”

We get it Mike, you like sex; you really, really like sex.

9. “My main objective in the fight is to be a professional but to kill him.”

Tyson in 2002 discussing his then upcoming battle against rival Lennox Lewis.

8. “These books ain’t window dressing. I think Machiavelli’s the most sophisticated writer outside of Shakespeare. Way ahead of his time. Such a manipulative person. Everything he accomplished he did by kissin’ ass.”

Tyson, the literary critic. 

7. “My power is discombobulating devastating. I could feel his muscle tissues collapse under my force. It’s ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm.”

Even when mangling the English language, Tyson exuded menace.

6. “These pigeons have been living with each other for 10 or 15 years, but when I throw feed down, they kill each other to get it, and it’s the same with the fighters. We love and respect each other…but we need that money.”

Leave it to Tyson to make an analogy between boxers and pigeons.

5. “One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died. I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand and he was out cold, convulsing on the floor.”

Yes, Mike sure did love his pigeons!

4. “Everyone has a plan ’till they get punched in the mouth.”

Hard to disagree with this one. 

3. “I don’t know, man, I guess I’m gonna fade into Bolivian.”

Not sure if Machiavelli or Shakespeare coined this phrase….

2. “I was gonna rip his heart out. I’m the best ever. I’m the most brutal and vicious, the most ruthless champion there has ever been. No one can stop me. Lennox is a conqueror? No! He’s no Alexander! I’m Alexander! I’m the best ever. I’m Sonny Liston. I’m Jack Dempsey. There’s never been anyone like me. I’m from their cloth. There is no one who can match me. My style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable, and I’m just ferocious. I want his heart! I want to eat his children! Praise be to Allah!”

Likely, the most well known of all Tyson rants. Mike had been through a fair amount of turmoil around this time and had also been partying hard and taking drugs. Don’t do drugs, kids.

1. “I’m sorry I let everybody down. I’m fighting just to pay my bills. I don’t have the stomach for this anymore… I don’t have the desire for it. I feel bad for the people … I wish they could get their money back.”

Probably the realest quote ever from the former “Kid Dynamite.”                    — Daniel Attias