The Joshua Spree

Welcome to The Joshua Spree, in which we track the progress of heavyweight super prospect Anthony Joshua as he walks the yellow brick road to a title shot by mowing down vastly inferior opposition, step by lucrative step.

Joshua, who, if Eddie Hearn is to be believed, will win the heavyweight championship and then crush Vladimir Putin in a final showdown between good and evil, steps back into the ring this Saturday against Michael Sprott. At 47-22, with twelve knockout losses, Sprott was chosen to give the young lad some more experience and lose by stoppage. It will be the first time in six bouts he’s been asked to fight for more than three rounds. I doubt Sprott will venture into new territory on Saturday.

It’s our objective to remain on top of Joshua’s career so that once he inevitably becomes champion, we can’t be accused of coming late to the party. Here are the vitals in advance of Saturday:

Eddie Hearn’s comb-over has a better chance of resisting a Highland wind than Sprott does of weathering one of Joshua’s bombs. Even if Sprott mounts an unforeseen challenge, perhaps by exploiting some fallibility in the still-green Joshua’s defense, it’s probable a cell phone camera will catch Eddie clandestinely slipping a debilitating agent into Sprott’s water bottle between rounds, an act that will surface on the internet after the fight, which will cause an island-wide referendum on the state of sportsmanship, which will lead to Steve Bunce experiencing congestive heart failure on live television while screaming about “all of the impropriety!” No one wants this, but Joshua’s power will ensure this elaborate scenario does not play out.

Like Joshua at Jericho, it will be a massacre.

 – Eliott McCormick